This girl has perfectly summed up how I have been feeling recently:
Nighty night all. So I realized something today… or remember something, or whatever. I am so full of love, I can sometimes fool myself into thinking it hurts to not have someone to share it with. I want to drink tea with someone, and snuggle, and watch silly films and make silly jokes. I want the kind of friendship we used to have when we were 14 and there was only ever a hint of sexual interest, and we’d wonder round holding hands and cuddle and sit on each others knees and make out at parties and have it mean nothing, and it being ok for it to mean nothing. That innocent friendship that was brimming with love and support and trust. But I don’t NEED a man in my life, or a woman. I’m full of love, but haven’t once given thought to the idea that maybe its time I gave it to myself. You know you might think you love yourself fully, but to give yourself over completely to only loving ‘you’ and not searching for a mate at all. The ideas somewhat appealing to be honest. To be friends with benefits with someone, because I love ME and it will make ME happy. And not because I want someone to love even if its only in a sexual way. To go out for coffee with a male friend and buy HIM the drink and hold hands in town simply because that intimacy feels nice and not because I’m interested in him. To wear make up and short skirts again not to attract attention but because I feel FREE and STRONG when I dress that way, and not because I’m going to see a guy Im interested in. To not shave my under arms because I like the way french women look, all natural and wild, and CONFIDENT, but to shave my legs because I like the feel on them sliding against each other all smooth in the bath or in bed. This is my new goal. To love myself as if I were a man I was doting on, and do things ONLY because it will please ME.
About me
I'm a psych major at Penn State University who enjoys being around people but has a few very close friends. I am biologically female, but consider myself to be gender fluid. I am a furry whose main fursona is a happy male black wolf named Zephyrus. I have a mate named Brian whose fursona is a red fox named Blackfox. I keep and open mind to different people, and love listening to the life stories of those I meet. Strengths: Psycho-analyzation, painting, photography.
Weaknesses: Puppies, Babies, Add/Adhd
